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"Why Modern Dating Makes Me Want to Punch Myself In The Throat"
Topic Started: Apr 24 2016, 10:13 PM (1,917 Views)
Ian889
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Death comes to all of those who oppose me.

I actually had read this from someone on facebook earlier today. When I was dating which admittedly was a while ago (only relevant because i was dating just the beginning of this "hookup" culture Tinder wasn't a thing then.) I can kind of see where she is coming from. Granted, being me I was always fairly direct; however, I agree that people don't like to show how they feel. I'm admittedly guilty in part for this as I was dating I'd invite a girl to get coffee (My go to first date place A because it was casual, and B because I have an addiction of Gloria Jeans Coffee). If she asked if it was a date or not my response was always the same. "If it goes well it's a date, if not we're just two people hanging out." which wasn't a lie, but would make me feel better when a date didn't go well.

I tried to let girls I was dating know if our sex was casual. Admittedly I was "burned," one time when a girl I was sleeping with turned around and started dating another dude. I was pissed at first, but internalized realizing that I didn't "force the issue," asking if we were actually together. A lesson I learned from, and would be my biggest piece of advice going for all. If you don't know ask, the worst they can say is no, and that will hurt way less than the interpretation of what you felt to realize they didn't.

"Why can’t I call someone because I like talking to him? Why does showing I care make me needy? If I act angry when a guy blows me off, I’m just a crazy bitch, so my only other option is to complain to my friends and wade in anxiety until he finally texts me back"
The weird list of "rules" that she had done is something I've never done nor am I familiar with. Granted this may apply more to women than men though. I would state that if that's how she feels about the men she's probably not going out with the right guys. I found the article interesting.
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Gnarlymaple
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Sundancer
Apr 25 2016, 02:54 AM
Edit: Also, regarding the difference between hookup/relationship culture, I think there's a sense by these authors (that I also share, at least for people my age) that hookup culture overwhelmingly dominates any space that could allow for "relationship culture," which I don't think the two are separate anyways. So to use the metaphor, it's not so much shopping for cars at the taxi stand as that the topography of the dating scene overwhelmingly looks like ONLY taxis, and you don't even know where to start to look for cars anymore, such that the process of even getting to the car dealership can be so frustrating and discouraging that you give up and just try taxis until one turns out to work for you. Or just give up entirely.
I've been enjoying most of what you've shared on the subject material regardless, but this simple metaphor kind of clicked in my head as far as my own experiences.

Honestly I feel pretty happy not even pursuing relationships.
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