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Clickbait article about friendship; "10 awkward friendships you probably have"
Topic Started: Mar 16 2016, 07:19 PM (1,408 Views)
Saturos
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heart-under-blade

http://www.upworthy.com/10-awkward-friendships-you-probably-have-we-all-have-a-9?c=ufb1

Not sure if this is overall good or not, but it was an entertaining read and provided a bit of food for thought. Especially since I am out of the school circuit at the moment, and I've definitely noticed the change in friendship dynamics. I think it also applies to our community here in some ways.

Either way, what do you think? Do you have any unhealthy friendships in your life, or is it more healthy ones? Do you find it hard or easy to make friends?
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Gilgamesh
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solbowz Aurarius

what are friends
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Saturos
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heart-under-blade

I was going to put in a disclaimer for you, Boyd
(don't worry if you don't have any friends)
but I didn't.

Because we're friends, right? <333
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Phimi
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So according to that, my relationship with my family suggests that they're in my tier 3, and all the people that I would have called friends before are actually acquaintances.

Encouraging.
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Saturos
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heart-under-blade

I'm not sure the same rules apply to family, so don't worry about that. ^^

and I hope you don't try to occasionally sleep with your family xP

But yeah, the article doesn't really account for friendships that largely happen in groups, or people you hang out with altogether and not so often one-on-one. Though I think having one-on-one interactions is an important part of deepening friendships.
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The Phantom Squee
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Sound the horn and call the cry: "How many of them can we make die?"

Definitely clickbait, and I feel like they could have done wonders for that by just not including that dumbass "We all have a number 9." Really that's what does it a lot of the time. Makes you either curious to find out what 9 is, or eager to get to 9 to prove them wrong. (In my case, no, I don't have a 9, as far as I know. Or at least, I'm not doing any of that, and as far as I know nobody's doing that to me.)

Still had some good insight into the nature of friendships, though, and I saw a few on there that I have. The graph was an especially relevant part imo. Excellent way to distill the ideas, and I'll keep it in mind.

Edit: Oh, one specific comment I had, the "people who can't be alone together" one specifically stuck out to me. It reminded me of another article I read, 5 Geek Social Fallacies, because I think with that one, the author fell into fallacy #4: friendship is magic transitive. Reading that one, I found myself thinking "Why are these two here? They're not friends, just people who happen to share a third common friend." But the author considers them friends anyway, because they're common friends from the writer's point of view.

I dunno, just thought that was a funny observation as well.
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Saturos
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heart-under-blade

I remember the geek thing, and I agree that ofc friendship isn't transitive. I think the difference between that fallacy article and this article is that here, the two don't expect to be friends, and don't feel like making it work. I think the group chemistry is one thing, and if two people personality-wise don't fit well together, that doesn't mean they don't still click with the group as a whole.

But yeah, someone like that certainly wouldn't be consider Tier 1, more like Tier 3. I think the ten "awkward" relationships they mention would be kind of dispersed over the three Tier rankings they have.
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Aevis Martius Ravi
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Origins

I don't have that many friends anymore, it definitely is more difficult to make friends as you inch closer to 30. It doesn't help I'm super introverted and antisocial (unless I get to know people well or if alcohol is involved. :awe: )

As far as the 'archetypes' go; 4 & 5 come to mind, but others are less true. And yeah, Tier 1 is hella up there as like the best friend evar, which I apparently have never really had irl according to that.
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Seoulbowz
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Supergeil

Gilgamesh
Mar 16 2016, 07:30 PM
what are friends
Boyd why ;-;
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Gilgamesh
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solbowz Aurarius

mostly just taking offense at the "easiest to make friends in college" part

because l o l
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UltaFlame
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Thanks Poui.

Well it's kind of the environment for most people.

Of course, this guy lives in New York, and all of the New York colleges I know of (And I live in the area with most of the big NY colleges - I drive right by Marist on my way to work every night) are pretty social places.
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Saturos
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heart-under-blade

Nah, Boyd just hates people

Or maybe he should've done a degree with more cool people in it

like English B)
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Gilgamesh
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solbowz Aurarius

Saturos
Mar 16 2016, 10:02 PM
Nah, Boyd just hates people
I wonder why
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Momentime
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uh oh

because 2d>3d am i rite

As for the 'article', if you can call it that, I think some of these friendships can start off as one and then mutate into another type. Then again this does say awkward friendships to start with so I'm assuming these friends are people you might not even interact with regularly. If someone were to describe these people to me I'd think of a person I just say hi to and happen to hang out with every now and then.

Like, what I'm not seeing are friends who are your bros, friends that you banter with, etc.

So yeah, I can kind of relate, but not really.
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Asphodel
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Electric Indigo

This article made me acutely aware about my being acutely aware about my being self-absorbed and never asking questions. :nyoron:

But yeah, I definitely feel that your friendship matrix crystallizes once you're in your mid-20s. I find most people are basically content with the groups they've formed up to that point, and it's like, why wouldn't they be? Then you longingly look at some cool 30-year-olds and you're like "damn, if only we went to kindergarten together!"

Also seconding English as being very conducive to forming friendships. But it is also a major, in my experience, in which its adherents are most likely to reshuffle their social networks every two to three years.
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HyrulianJedi
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uguu~
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
idk, I feel like I can kind of relate to this? There's a lot of people I know from school that I'm on good terms with, but I recognize that I don't really care at all about them and that they're fun/entertaining/amusing to be around for brief periods.

Or maybe that's just a matter of definitions. I've always found myself to have a very wide pool of acquaintances, and generally a small number of people I consider friends. There's not much incentive for me to try and cut out or lower acquaintances - the only time I interact with them is when I run into them.

So, I guess all the people I consider friends are in Quadrant 1? Mission success?
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Saturos
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heart-under-blade

Don't worry Asph, there's always the opposite problem - people who do nothing but ask questions, and never volunteer information about or talk about themselves much. Getting meaningful conversation out of them is like trying to wring blood from a stone.

Yeah, I think most people have both "casual friends" and then "good/close friends," and that's totally a normal or necessary part of life.
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The Phantom Squee
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Sound the horn and call the cry: "How many of them can we make die?"

HyrulianJedi
Mar 16 2016, 11:51 PM
Or maybe that's just a matter of definitions. I've always found myself to have a very wide pool of acquaintances, and generally a small number of people I consider friends. There's not much incentive for me to try and cut out or lower acquaintances - the only time I interact with them is when I run into them.

So, I guess all the people I consider friends are in Quadrant 1? Mission success?
Yeah, I kinda feel like this as well. I guess it's because I've generally believed in not burning bridges if it's not necessary? Like if I don't talk to someone often, but we don't have a strained relationship and we get along well enough, what's the harm in interacting with them occasionally?
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Momentime
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uh oh

The kind of friendship you're describing would be exactly what the article was trying to describe. I'm just not sure if I've even paid enough attention to say yes this person was type 1, 2, or 3. Although I do try to make a conscious effort to avoid being type 1 (unlike right now). People LOVE to talk about themselves, so let them.
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Saelnaha
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Let's just wait and see what happens.

I feel like I'm #2 to most people, rip
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