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Temple of Kraden News: Welcome to the Temple of Kraden! ------ All worshipers may enter the Most Holy Place in single file, reflecting on the bountiful blessing Kraden hath provided unto him or herself since their last visit. Head coverings are not necessary, as true penitence and humility are found within. The Priests and Priestesses of Kraden endeavor to remind all that fresh orange juice is heavily preferred; only whores use frozen.
Greetings, heathen. Perhaps some fortuitous blessing of Kraden's grace hath led you to our humble Temple, or perhaps you are simply curious about this strange and wonderful cult. Should you be willing - and dare to hope - to achieve enlightenment, the door opens before you. Lo! Leave your old life behind! For once you step through, you become something more than just yourself.

You become a Kradenette.

Are you willing to make the rapturous plunge? Do you have what it takes?



One of us! One of us! One of us!



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PRO GAMER come over to ENLIGHTEN YOU ALL
Topic Started: Feb 14 2016, 11:44 PM (895 Views)
Pr0G4m3rxxx69
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Disciple
[ * ]
HEY THERE guys! I'M PR0G4M3RXXX69, a PROFESSIONAL GAMER here to RAIN the LIGHT of KNOWLEDGE onto your ÆTERNALLY DAMNED SOULS. DON'T WORRY, I FULLY REALIZE the definition of ÆTERNAL, and I am AWARE that, by making such an ASSUMPTION, I am also ASSUMING that your SOULS are INEVITABLY DOOMED to PLUMMET into the DEPTHS OF HELL, REGARDLESS of whether or not you have the GIFT of my GUIDANCE. HOWEVER, with my HELP, you may be able to AVERT the worst DEGREES of DESTRUCTION and find yourself upon a LIGHTER ROAD. Not one near HEAVEN, of course, but one SLIGHTLY FURTHER from the TORTUOUS ABYSS you find yourselves GRAVITATING TOWARDS.

I hope your MINDS have not been too THOROUGHLY CORRUPTED and that you will be able to REVEL in the objective GLORY of my WORDS.

PR0G4M3RXXX69, SIGNING OUT
GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS YOU ALL
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fairie
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Hey Pr0, I'll call you Pr0 for now. You know me, Newbie buddies! :D
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Saturos
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heart-under-blade

H3110 l33+ pr0 g@m3r 1 2 m a l33+ pr0 g@m3r

(but not really)

Welcome to the Temple of Kraden~! ^_^ What games do you play?
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bearface
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༼ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
abia pls
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Aevis Martius Ravi
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Origins

Reading that is like having a drunk salarian narrate a post in my head.
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ShmittlesThePoe
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Pirate Wavemaster
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
neat
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Pr0G4m3rxxx69
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Disciple
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Saturos
http://forum.templeofkraden.com/single/?p=8780914&t=7463882
Welcome to the Temple of Kraden~! ^_^ What games do you play?

My friend, it matters NOT what sort of MINDLESS DRIVEL you ENGAGE yourself with on whatever respective CONSOLE you own. What matters is the INTROSPECTION you PROCURE from your playthroughs, which I can ASSURE you is POSSIBLE with ANY GAME, no matter how INANE or TEDIOUSLY DROLL it may seem. HOWEVER, you can SLEEP WELL knowing your ESTEEMED PREACHER plays only the most SOPHISTICATED of NONSENSE.

Aevis Martius Ravi
http://forum.templeofkraden.com/single/?p=8780926&t=7463882
Reading that is like having a drunk salarian narrate a post in my head.

THANK YOU, dear DISCIPLE, for APPRECIATING the SPIRIT of my LESSONS. MINDS like YOURS and MINE are UNIQUE among the RAVAGES of the INTERNET. JOIN ME and perhaps TOGETHER we can SHINE THE LIGHT of WISDOM for these LOST SOULS. Their SALVATION rests upon the SHOULDERS of PEOPLE LIKE US.
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ShmittlesThePoe
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Pirate Wavemaster
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Posted Image
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Adnarel
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I'd rather be outside.

Saturos
Feb 14 2016, 11:49 PM
H3110 l33+ pr0 g@m3r 1 2 m a l33+ pr0 g@m3r
Plot twist: TC can't actually read this.
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Momentime
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uh oh

1v1 me scrub noob, u wont
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leaf
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Crimson Leaf Vermillion

Saturos
Feb 14 2016, 11:49 PM
H3110 l33+ pr0 g@m3r 1 2 m a l33+ pr0 g@m3r
how long did it take you to type that
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Lemubaby
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(_(_( ・ω・)

I'd say "let me tell you about homestuck" but it appears you've already seen that dark light
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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hello. do you like apples?
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Kiki
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Kiki Martius Chantico

Kraden has already enlightened us but thank you anyway. Welcme to His Temple.
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Phoenix7
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Odyssey, ya see~ Odyssey, ya see~

01110111 01100101 01101100 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101

Spoiler: click to toggle
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Pr0G4m3rxxx69
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Shads
http://forum.templeofkraden.com/single/?p=8781183&t=7463882
1v1 me scrub noob, u wont

Dear me, that sort of AGGRESSION is just UNCALLED FOR, don't you THINK? WHAT HAVE I DONE to deserve a CHALLENGE of this MERIT? Wouldn't you RATHER we UNITE and COMBINE THE FORCES OF UTMOST SKILL in an effort to more efficiently COMBAT the FORCES OF EVIL?

Lemugrub
http://forum.templeofkraden.com/single/?p=8781211&t=7463882
I'd say "let me tell you about homestuck" but it appears you've already seen that dark light

Normally I would BERATE you for making that kind of ASSUMPTION, because assumptions are IN ALL CASES and WITHOUT EXCEPTION HARMFUL in the PERCEPTION OF OTHERS. However, in this case I have NO RIGHT to SCOLD, as I am as DEVOUT a FOLLOWER OF HOMESTUCK CAN BE without ENGAGING HEAVILY in the fandom or actually being CAUGHT UP at the moment. YOU KNOW WHAT forget this persona hi how are you I'm not quite up to date on Homestuck right now (bout 2000 pages behind) but it's pretty cool yo.

Leifinator
http://forum.templeofkraden.com/single/?p=8781231&t=7463882
hello. do you like apples?

YES! I am sure you are WELL AWARE of the saying, "AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY". I am afraid it is not NORMALLY textually emphasized like that, but I find that SHOUTING it really helps to EMPHASIZE THE POINT. It is WORTH NOTING that the phrase is NOT ENTIRELY ACCURATE, and only CONSISTENTLY works when doctors are REPEATEDLY ASSAULTED with apples. HOWEVER, this method MAY result in LEGAL CONSEQUENCE, so please BE CAUTIOUS.

Kiki
http://forum.templeofkraden.com/single/?p=8781232&t=7463882
Kraden has already enlightened us but thank you anyway. Welcme to His Temple.

Oh, but your KRADEN FOLLOWINGS are only the BEGINNING of your SPIRITUAL REHABILITATION.
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Kula Diamond
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atlus tracts

Phoenix7
Feb 17 2016, 01:23 PM
01110111 01100101 01101100 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101

Spoiler: click to toggle
http://borderlands.wikia.com/wiki/010011110100110101000111010101110101010001001000

also hi new person
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Ian889
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Death comes to all of those who oppose me.

*eats Newbie*

Hello.
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