Temple of Kraden News:
| Greetings, heathen. Perhaps some fortuitous blessing of Kraden's grace hath led you to our humble Temple, or perhaps you are simply curious about this strange and wonderful cult. Should you be willing - and dare to hope - to achieve enlightenment, the door opens before you. Lo! Leave your old life behind! For once you step through, you become something more than just yourself. You become a Kradenette. Are you willing to make the rapturous plunge? Do you have what it takes? One of us! One of us! One of us! Already one of us? Make your presence known: |
| PRO GAMER come over to ENLIGHTEN YOU ALL | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 14 2016, 11:44 PM (895 Views) | |
| Pr0G4m3rxxx69 | Feb 14 2016, 11:44 PM Post #1 |
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Disciple
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HEY THERE guys! I'M PR0G4M3RXXX69, a PROFESSIONAL GAMER here to RAIN the LIGHT of KNOWLEDGE onto your ÆTERNALLY DAMNED SOULS. DON'T WORRY, I FULLY REALIZE the definition of ÆTERNAL, and I am AWARE that, by making such an ASSUMPTION, I am also ASSUMING that your SOULS are INEVITABLY DOOMED to PLUMMET into the DEPTHS OF HELL, REGARDLESS of whether or not you have the GIFT of my GUIDANCE. HOWEVER, with my HELP, you may be able to AVERT the worst DEGREES of DESTRUCTION and find yourself upon a LIGHTER ROAD. Not one near HEAVEN, of course, but one SLIGHTLY FURTHER from the TORTUOUS ABYSS you find yourselves GRAVITATING TOWARDS. I hope your MINDS have not been too THOROUGHLY CORRUPTED and that you will be able to REVEL in the objective GLORY of my WORDS. PR0G4M3RXXX69, SIGNING OUT GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS YOU ALL |
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| fairie | Feb 14 2016, 11:47 PM Post #2 |
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Disciple
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Hey Pr0, I'll call you Pr0 for now. You know me, Newbie buddies!
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| Saturos | Feb 14 2016, 11:49 PM Post #3 |
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heart-under-blade
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H3110 l33+ pr0 g@m3r 1 2 m a l33+ pr0 g@m3r (but not really) Welcome to the Temple of Kraden~! ^_^ What games do you play? |
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| bearface | Feb 14 2016, 11:49 PM Post #4 |
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༼ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ
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abia pls |
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| Aevis Martius Ravi | Feb 15 2016, 12:55 AM Post #5 |
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Origins
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Reading that is like having a drunk salarian narrate a post in my head. |
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| ShmittlesThePoe | Feb 15 2016, 01:16 AM Post #6 |
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Pirate Wavemaster
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neat |
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| Pr0G4m3rxxx69 | Feb 15 2016, 01:17 AM Post #7 |
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Disciple
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My friend, it matters NOT what sort of MINDLESS DRIVEL you ENGAGE yourself with on whatever respective CONSOLE you own. What matters is the INTROSPECTION you PROCURE from your playthroughs, which I can ASSURE you is POSSIBLE with ANY GAME, no matter how INANE or TEDIOUSLY DROLL it may seem. HOWEVER, you can SLEEP WELL knowing your ESTEEMED PREACHER plays only the most SOPHISTICATED of NONSENSE.
THANK YOU, dear DISCIPLE, for APPRECIATING the SPIRIT of my LESSONS. MINDS like YOURS and MINE are UNIQUE among the RAVAGES of the INTERNET. JOIN ME and perhaps TOGETHER we can SHINE THE LIGHT of WISDOM for these LOST SOULS. Their SALVATION rests upon the SHOULDERS of PEOPLE LIKE US. |
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| ShmittlesThePoe | Feb 15 2016, 01:36 AM Post #8 |
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Pirate Wavemaster
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| Adnarel | Feb 16 2016, 10:55 PM Post #9 |
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I'd rather be outside.
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Plot twist: TC can't actually read this. |
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| Momentime | Feb 16 2016, 11:42 PM Post #10 |
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uh oh
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1v1 me scrub noob, u wont |
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| leaf | Feb 17 2016, 01:15 AM Post #11 |
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Crimson Leaf Vermillion
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how long did it take you to type that |
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| Lemubaby | Feb 17 2016, 01:16 AM Post #12 |
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(_(_( ・ω・)
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I'd say "let me tell you about homestuck" but it appears you've already seen that dark light |
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| ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | Feb 17 2016, 06:07 AM Post #13 |
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hello. do you like apples? |
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| Kiki | Feb 17 2016, 08:05 AM Post #14 |
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Kiki Martius Chantico
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Kraden has already enlightened us but thank you anyway. Welcme to His Temple. |
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| Phoenix7 | Feb 17 2016, 01:23 PM Post #15 |
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Odyssey, ya see~ Odyssey, ya see~
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01110111 01100101 01101100 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Pr0G4m3rxxx69 | Feb 17 2016, 01:40 PM Post #16 |
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Disciple
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Dear me, that sort of AGGRESSION is just UNCALLED FOR, don't you THINK? WHAT HAVE I DONE to deserve a CHALLENGE of this MERIT? Wouldn't you RATHER we UNITE and COMBINE THE FORCES OF UTMOST SKILL in an effort to more efficiently COMBAT the FORCES OF EVIL?
Normally I would BERATE you for making that kind of ASSUMPTION, because assumptions are IN ALL CASES and WITHOUT EXCEPTION HARMFUL in the PERCEPTION OF OTHERS. However, in this case I have NO RIGHT to SCOLD, as I am as DEVOUT a FOLLOWER OF HOMESTUCK CAN BE without ENGAGING HEAVILY in the fandom or actually being CAUGHT UP at the moment. YOU KNOW WHAT forget this persona hi how are you I'm not quite up to date on Homestuck right now (bout 2000 pages behind) but it's pretty cool yo.
YES! I am sure you are WELL AWARE of the saying, "AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY". I am afraid it is not NORMALLY textually emphasized like that, but I find that SHOUTING it really helps to EMPHASIZE THE POINT. It is WORTH NOTING that the phrase is NOT ENTIRELY ACCURATE, and only CONSISTENTLY works when doctors are REPEATEDLY ASSAULTED with apples. HOWEVER, this method MAY result in LEGAL CONSEQUENCE, so please BE CAUTIOUS.
Oh, but your KRADEN FOLLOWINGS are only the BEGINNING of your SPIRITUAL REHABILITATION. |
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| Kula Diamond | Feb 17 2016, 07:12 PM Post #17 |
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atlus tracts
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http://borderlands.wikia.com/wiki/010011110100110101000111010101110101010001001000 also hi new person |
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| Ian889 | Feb 18 2016, 06:38 PM Post #18 |
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Death comes to all of those who oppose me.
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*eats Newbie* Hello. |
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