- Who the [radio edit] is responsible for these episode titles

- Do love me some arbitrary four-month time skips.

- Also who the [radio edit] names a floor "Taft".

- OMG A GURL

- SUCH PURE

- "Don't talk about me like I'm useless!" Gee, I wonder how far the anime will go to make her useless.

- Basically, Kirito joins this guild but is hiding his actual level in fear of being rejected by these scrubs and a hawt chick.

- Another timeskip. ಠ_ಠ

- Talking 'bout hope in a killer MMO. He's gonna die, isn't he.

- God dude, don't make it gay.

- Yeah, they're totally gonna die.

- Later, he meets up with Klein and he figures out that Kirito has been eloping with another guild, therefore making it gay.

- It's amazing how mopey he gets over not being in the same guild as some dude he met almost half a year ago.

- The GURL, Sachi, is missing and the other guild members can't find her. Oh boy.

- Y'know, if tracking someone's movements were as destructively simple as this, you have to wonder how Kirito was able to hang around these idiots for so long.

- How un-cliche.

- God Sachi, don't make it gay.

- In response, Kirito exclaims, in jest, that she might be talking about a double suicide. Dickwad.

- Kirito assures her that she's not going to die, thereby solidifying her death sentence.

- JESUS CHRIST HOW MANY FLAGS DO YOU [radio edit]ING NEED

- MY GOD SHE DOESNT EVEN GET TO CYBER BEFORE SHE DIES

- The guild suggests going to a difficult dungeon. Because they reassure Kirito that they aren't going do die, they're definitely going to die.

- Yet another timeskip. How many of these things are there?

- Ooh, conspicuous insignia which turns into a hidden door.

- Not a trap.

- Thanks Kirito, NOW it's a trap.

- What the hell, hero.

- Get mobbed. Get died.

- Question. When you are as careful as to reach floor 27 without dying, would you really not expect a lone treasure chest in the middle of a large room to be a trap? Would you really be that stupid by now?

- Welp. I get the feeling that I'm supposed to care. Kirito certainly cares, but I don't really know why he should.

- Well, she gets to look cute for a split second before she literally becomes sparkles.

- Jesus [radio edit]ing Christmas ANOTHER ONE!?

- Kirito is such a sad girl in the snow.

- Celebrate Christmas by killing Santa!

- "In this world, the dead won't return"

kill me

please

- Turns out the guild leader wasn't even with them when they all died. He proceeds to suicide after discovering that Kirito is a Beater. Some idealist he was.

- He's going to this floor because the boss drops a revival item.

- Ew Klein-sempai stahp.

- They never really touched upon the possibility of player killing. I'm guessing it's possible.

- Aren't there better ways to make Evil Santa more menacing?

- Turns out the item is of no use to Kirito. It only works on a unit that's died within 10 seconds.

- Can I vomit yet?

- Oh look, a cheery letter from the dead. Merry [radio edit]ing Christmas, Kirito.

- How beautiful, she knew that Kirito is a poopsocker and doesn't mind at all! What a good girl! Gee, Kirito, you missed your chance at landing a perfect waifu AND getting her in the sack!

- Instead, you get to hear her half-heartedly humming Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer while you cry yourself to sleep. So romantic.

Tokiomi

- I didn't know there was Model H equipment.

- How the hell does a woman like her not attain the same level of popularity as a loli. Oh, yeah. Japan.

- Hiss.

- Silica seems to have a decent head on her shoulders.

- datass.jpg

- WHUMP. There goes your pet.

- Can we all just take a minute to marvel at this precious derpface moment.

- Also, even if it's a full year and a half into SAO, and even if I do understand if people get attached to digital pets at this point, Silica STILL manages to come off as way too whiny. That's a crowning achievement as far as I'm concerned.

- Oh, Silica. Battered and helpless. Surely a main character won't just up and save your life at the last moment!

- The [radio edit] is with all these eggs

- oh my god someone kiLL ME PLEASE

- Our next adventure involves escorting Silica to the Hill of Memories, where HANA GA SAITA YO and will revive her pet.

- Why would a solo player hold onto equipment that's 1. useless to him and 2. not already sold for cash? It seems a little convenient that he has just the right stuff for her job class.

- Ah, now I see why this episode exists. Look at him, all bashful and dark and edgy and shit about mentioning his [rainbow]precious imouto[/rainbow]. So [radio edit]ing moe.

- Hey look it's these two again.

- WOW WAY TO DEMONIZE THEM WITHIN FIVE SECONDS SILICA. WE WOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER DO SUCH A THING. NO WAY. NOT EVER. YEP.

- Next to Kirito lies a delicious cheesecake, ripe for the taking.

- God Rosalina, don't make it gay.

- Kirito with his infinite knowledge of MMOs explains that yes, people are assholes on the internet! What a surprise!

- The episode talks a little more about PK, or "player killing". Such a dumb acronym, by the way, but that's beside the point. The color of the marker above people's heads indicates if they've PK'd. Green means you're pure. Orange means you've killed someone and can possibly be put to jail. I'm pretty sure there exist red players but the episode doesn't talk about it.

- Oh how cute, Kirito shows a little bit of emotion. Now we know that he's such a strong male character.

- "Seems like you cheered me up instead" Seems like you need to get your cheesecake out of the camera.

- are we gonna do this sao. are we gonna fight.

- I dunno what you're talking about, Kirito's cheesecake is sitting right across from him.

- OM NOM NOM DELICIOUS CHEESECAKE.

- I WANNA FLIRT WITH KIRITO-SEMPAI BUT I'M JUST A LOWLY CHEESECAKE WITH NO SELF-ESTEEM.

i wonder if he'll notice me uguu

- The maps in this game are so slow to boot up compared to the UI. Such bad game design.

- Kirito hears something. I didn't hear anything.

- Oh, it's because his listening skills are over lv. 9000. Gee, SAO, what else are you going to do to make him practically invincible?

- very flowers

- Blargh, it's ten days past Valentine's. Get some rooms.

- are we doing this sao

- are we really gonna

- are we

- of course he [radio edit]ing saw. We all [radio edit]ing saw. [radio edit] Japan.

- KIRITO'S TRAGIC BACKSTORY. We learn that he got beat up by his grampa for outrageously unreasonable circumstances! How horrible!

- I mean, I'm not really hating on the concept. You escort a helpless loli because you need to take care of some emotional baggage. I can get behind that. It's just that everything I've been put through before this kind of negates the impact of Kirito's supposed atonement for piling all the kendo responsibility on his [rainbow]precious imouto[/rainbow]. Instead, we're treated to endless reminders that yes, Silica is a delicious loli cheesecake. I get it.

- MOTHERFU-

- -KING PLEASE.

- Oh. We made it. This admittedly looks pretty.

- can we not make this tentacles

pls

- arigato gozaimasu

- The Pneuma Flower, perfect for giving you worst enemies pneumonia! It's like herpes, except you take it up the nose!

- heyyyy

- Kirito's detection skills happen to be over lv 9000 too.

- Even though she's green, apparently you don't even get an assist when you are part of the kill. What bad game design.

- Gee, I wouldn't have guessed her to be a maaaaan eater until she licked her lips! That's totally what man eaters do!

- So this wasn't about atoning for his [rainbow]precious imouto[/rainbow] at all. He was tracking down the man eater all along. That-... you know what, okay. I invested too much hope into this episode already. Can we get this done and over with?

- There's a problem with this line of reasoning. If the threat of dying in real life were not real, why do people only disappear from SAO when they die? If the real world were to figure out that people werent being killed by microwave headsets, people would be disappearing through means other than getting killed. And certainly, a massively multiplayer online hostage situation would not last a full year and a half before someone figured out that the computers were bluffing.

- SUDDENLY GOONS. FROM BEHIND THE [radio edit]ING TREES.

I CANT

- Kirito-sama so stronk. so cool. so dark and edgy.

- Is there any limit to how stupid someone has to be in order to make Kirito appear stronger?

- Allow me a moment to speculate as to the mindset of this anime's core audience when they watch the following events:

- hahaha they do no damage to him kirito is so strong

- hahaha theyre so tired after doing no damage to him even though its an mmo

- omg kirito so cool

- Why yes, Kirito, being level 78 at floor 49 of all place certainly does make you stronger than every other [radio edit]ing person here! Of course, Kirito, your health regen outscales their puny dps! Could you jam your head further up your own ass, please?

- After going on about how this isn't a game, he sure takes pride in his poopsocker attitude towards SAO.

- we shunpo now.

- So wait, the guild gets taken to jail offscreen and now we're taken to the inn room with just Kirito and Silica? That was fast.

- Kirito confirms that his escorting duties are over and that they will be parting ways until they meet again in real life. You'd think he'd friend this super-popular loli cheesecake just in case he's hungry or some shit, but noooo.