- Dicey Cafe are you [radio edit]ing serious

- Kirito sitting at this bar like he's some hot shot noir private investigator.

- Wow, Egil even shot this across the tabletop like it was some important shit. I mean, it's important in terms of the story, but it's so out-of-genre. I can't take this entire exchange seriously.

- Japanese game box art has its priorities where it matters: 200% more butt cheeks.

- NINE-UP: THE UNCOLA. YOU LIKE IT IT LIKES YOU.

- At this point the writers have no good excuse to start infodumping, so let's give the idiot ball to Kirito so that Egil now has an excuse! No one will catch on to our genius ploy!

- It's a flying MMO but with imposed limits on flying! That already sounds like a shitty experience!

- In fact, it's so shitty that the only way to extend your flight time is to literally become a human centipede.

- In all honestly, there's nothing wrong with Sugu sitting like this in the confines of her own home, but the question of male gaze still lingers in this shot. Much like male gaze itself.

- Kirito has one week to, uh, save Asuna? From, uh, that one guy who's going to legitimately marry her despite the morally questionable circumstances? And we're going into an MMO again? And no one's actually going to die this time?



I am

so

[rainbow]pumped for this shit[/rainbow]

- Now that Kirito is entering another real life MMO, a memory which has its share of bad memories and DEAD GIRLS, it's probably time for an image change, just to get him motivated for the next arc. Look at all those different races! All those colors!

So let's go with an entirely black one. That's pretty different from what we're used to.

- Getting introduced into a world by falling into it? Eh.

- So basically Kirito pulled a New Game+ and all of his old stats carried over from Aincrad. What the hell. Not only is he innately overpowered, the game itself is giving him an unfair advantage over everyone else in the game. Much like when he was beta testing! Maybe we'll actually see come meaningful conflict concerning that!



I'm just kidding. I wouldn't be as evil as to raise your hopes over such a small detail.

- All of Kirito's inventory, however, is corrupted and therefore unusable. Except for one thing. Oh boy.

- Ohhhh, boy. She's baaaaaaack.

- As if that wasn't already bad enough, we're treated to a flashback of all the wonderful times that Yui and Kirito shared over their long, meaningful, two-day... short... actually quite frivolous encounter. Man, this episode has been a great help for my daily eye-rolling exercises.

- "Miracles really do happen."



- Never mind the fact that they've made contact with each other for less than one weekend combined, much less that Yui isn't actually real. Just focus on that super kawaii desu daddy daughter time.

- "Let me have a look at your data, Daddy."



"...If you know what I mean."

- It's okay, Kirito. You'll always be a cheater cheater masturbeater in my kokoro.

- [rainbow]Perfect Daughteru[/rainbow] now pocket-sized for your convenience!

- So you're saying that she's basically Navi. I'm going to have so much fun with that.

- MEANWHILE, A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS. Obviously the male companion is too weak to protect m'lady, so it's Kirito's job to save the day!

- It's hard to express this with screenshots, but the airborne fights look real uninspiring.

- Now they have her cornered against one tree! Surely she can't get away at this point!

- Oh wait, we haven't made our enemies comically evil yet. What if we made them say this?



Perfect.

- Are you okay, m'lady? I'll vanquish these uncouth foes for thee!

Large words for a CHEATER CHEATER MASTURBEATER.

- And he dispatches one of them with a single swipe. Ah, Kirito-sama. How I've missed you for approximately one episode.