- What I'm assuming is the MC gets a papercut. Okay.

- Before we jump into SAO, the scenery outside of the MC's room is portrayed as rather empty and pale. Which leads me to think that he doesn't really like the real world all that much.

- we digimon the movie now

- Even if this might actually be a guy, do people really behave like this online? Whoa, simple. Calm down. This is anime you're talking about. Of course people are going to be like this.

- Scenery like this feels kind of cheap when I'm told that it's all contained in this... thing.

- Explaining the mechanics of virtual reality combat is nice and all, but it is not something I care about.

- I can see the game aspect of combat portrayed here. A bit goofy to consider when you have to do those motions in real life.

- By the way, we're now at a point where we're introduced to Kirito, the MC from before, and Klein his sexually awkward boyfriend. Dont argue with me on this. The scenery even agrees with me.

- Called it.

- This is around the point where they notice there's no logout button. Kirito mentions that the only way to logout is to go through the menu. You'd think people would complain about that during the beta test, let alone point towards the fact that you need to wear a helmet that incapacitates you in order to play in order to justify alternate exiting options. And if the company disregarded that particular, crucial bit, it should have put at least a bit of worry towards its customers. I guess not, though.

- Cue convenient obscuring of the sun to raise tension.

- BUT FIRST WE MUST TALK ABOUT KIRITO'S SMOKIN HOT IMOUTO

- Then everyone is subject to a forced recall to the town center and oh look its this pair again.

- I think someone jammed the server.

- I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.

- No, wait, I don't think I have.

- Oh, a dramatic entrance. That was completely necessary.

- "This is not a defect. It is a feature." Oh boy.

- So according to this red boogeyman, it was somehow able to pass off a [radio edit]ing microwave as virtual reality headgear. And even if there were a safety mechanism, wouldn't the mere thought of microwaves aimed at your brain be sensational enough to garner protest, or at least a louder opposition?

- I see that the red boogeyman's numerous godlike powers include reading the news during playtime. What a considerate boogeyman.

- Not an obvious callback to Kirito's mom and sister.

- Oh, and if you die in the game, you die in real life. This anime will do whatever it takes to actually keep everyone in the game, won't they. AND they have to be a bad enough dude to go through all 100 floors of the game in order to escape.

- They're all given a mirror in their inventory and it ends up revealing everyone's true appearances, leading to admittedly chuckleworthy exchanges such as this. Called it, btw.

- Because this is anime, the reveal doesn't make that much of an impact on me, the viewer. If the facial structures were portrayed more realistically, I'd get that emotional response. Because everyone is super kawaii-desu~ no matter the circumstance, the mirror gimmick is lost in translation.

- This moment is fascinating. Everyone is worried about the real world because that's what they prefer, but in Kirito's case the real world is intruding upon his virtual bliss. Though it is a callback much like other moments I've groaned about, this one's executed with much more nuance.

- "If I die in the game, I will die in real life!"

i cant

im sorry i cant even

- God Kirito, don't make it gay.

- GOD KLEIN, DON'T MAKE IT GAY.

- CALLED IT. Though, this kind of runs against Kirito's preference towards the virtual world. Continuity error, or perhaps hypocrisy?

- I always wanted to play sword Jrt onginP. I hear it's set in the Matrix.

- This opening song isn't even that good.

- We're told that ten thousand people were around when this game began. I feel as if they're going to be doing this for a while. Like patch updates.

-Those 2000 deaths sure are proving themselves important to the story. Yep. Reeeeaaaaaal important.

- Today, we have a guy named Diabel who is gathering players to tackle the first boss. Apparently, the boss room is something you have to find before even thinking about fighting it. I don't really understand that logic when it comes to traditional RPGs, or MMOs for that matter. Wouldn't there be some logical reasoning behind the location of a boss, especially when it represents the gateway to the next floor of Aincrad? Is it good game design to waste people's time wandering about the first [radio edit]ing floor of a 100-floor game just to find one stupid boss room? I wouldn't know. Sandbox-format games never clicked with me, but this is an RPG. You're supposed to be guided towards each event cleanly and clearly so as to utilize your time as efficiently as possible. Maybe it's part of the diabolical plot to entrap 10,000 players in the game, but why didn't beta testers mind it? Is it a discrepancy between experienced players vs. newbies?

- Ah, parties. What a treat.

- Kirito is oddly expectant of willing party members when he rejected Klein's attempts to diversify is friend pool to >1.

- Good thing he found his convenient kindred spirit. Hold on. let me rephrase that.

- OMG R U GURL

PICS OR GTFO

- Aww, she even panders to the anime's core audience.

- And then this mild-mannered gentleman leaps in from straight out of [radio edit]ing nowhere and blames the 2000 deaths on the beta testers, because they selfishly utilize their knowledge for their own benefit. Definitely not an metaphor for the way gaming communities treat their newbies.

- Case in point. Having a beginner's guide available from the get-go makes it hard to argue that those 2000 players had no safety net before they died, but it only adds to the fact that knowledge is a poor substitute for experience, especially in a life-or-death situation like SAO. "You should have known that." "You wouldn't have died if you did ___." That kind of language reinforces a disparity between people who know how to play already, and those who are still learning. Apparently, there is no middle ground.

- The book is basically a free stategy guide at this point.

- Why doesn't Diabel just ask Brock to summon his Onix?

- wow such aloof

- God Diabel, don't make it gay.

- I can't believe it's not butter!

- [radio edit]ing romance flags.

- How is this room so hard to find when it's at the top of a [radio edit]ing cylinder tower in the middle of the goddamn floor.

- What a boss.

- Most of what happens is action scenes, which are nice. But it's hard to find good shots because everyone is on permanent derpface duty.

- We already know that she's a girl, but the cloak protects people from seeing her as OMG A GURL. This is so confusing. How can I ask her for pics when she keeps covering up like that?

- "That's not a talwar! That's gay!"

- GLORIOUS LEADER-SAMA NOOOOOOOOO!!1!1

- God Kirito, don't make it gay. You don't even know him.

- You know, given the way they spin Diabel's dramatic death, you'd think it would, you know, feel important. But it's not. He's just one of 2000+ people who have died thanks to this game. Maybe if I hadn't known about those 2000 deaths I wouldn't be talking about this, but man Diabel just isn't that important of a character to feel sorry for. If anything, Kirito is overreacting.

- And of course it's Kirito and Asuna's time to shine.

- I'm kinda surprised how much he cares about complete strangers when he's shown to be reluctant about making friends. It's not like he's cursed with anything, besides his beta tester status.

- And the boss's weapon conveniently slashes her cloak away, leaving her vulnerable to- wait.

- Are you

- [radio edit]ing serious

- LET ME SHOW YOU THE DANCE OF MY PEOPLE.

- Kirito lands a finishing blow on the boss. I dub that move, "death by excessive bloom".

- And because he lands the final blow, he gets his trademark dark and edgy status he's known for.

- Aaaaand, the beta tester thing rises up again. Nevermind that Diabel was actually trying to steal the rewards for himself, and that he too was concealing the fact that he was a beta tester (both bits of information not known to anyone besides Kirito), but when the actual game differs from the beta you can't really fault the beta testers for "letting Diabel die".

- This is the part where Kirito pulls the tried and true martyr trick, villainizing himself so that no one suspects Diabel. Thing is, why should he care about what they think about a dead person? I'm not given a very good reason to believe that he's being sincere.

- Yeees, start with the crotch shot to establish your authority over them.

- Ohhhh, now I get why they call him a beater.

Because he masturbates a lot!

- wow such cloak very edge

- Somehow Asuna catches on to his self-martyr scheme even though she knows next to nothing about him. And because she's going to be a future romantic interest, she asks for his name. How kawaii.

- And then he tells her to actually join a guild and says this to follow. Even though he just up and did the exact opposite.