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| A guy walks into a bar.; A joke I heard once. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 10 2011, 09:49 AM (497 Views) | |
| Zabby | Jan 10 2011, 09:49 AM Post #1 |
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A guy walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. He can't but notice a very large jar full of $5 bills sitting on the counter. He asks the bar-keep, "What's with the jar, some kind of donation or something?" The bar-keep responds, "No. That jar right there is a bet that nobody can win." "Oh?", said the man. "Explain." The bar-keep then explained, "The rules are simple. You put a $5 bill in the jar. You drink a bottle of tequilla, worm and all. You then go out back. There you will find a very angry dog with a bad tooth. You need to pull that tooth. After that, you need to go upsatirs and have sex with the 70-year old woman who rents the room here. After all that, the jar of money is yours. And with your $5, that should bring the grand total to somewhere around $6000." "Sounds simple." Said the man. "I'll take that bet." The man drinks the tequilla and heads out back to take care of the dog. Everybody in the bars listens in horror as they hear the dog growl and bark while the man screams for his life. The man walks back in. His clothes are torn all to hell, he has cuts and bite marks all over him, and he's bleeding very badly. He looks at the bar-keep with a drunken smile and says, "I'm done with the dog. Now, where's the old lady with the bad tooth?" |
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| simplechild | Jan 10 2011, 10:02 AM Post #2 |
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My only feel is murder
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щ(゚Д ゚щ) WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT |
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| Phoenix7 | Jan 10 2011, 10:51 AM Post #3 |
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Odyssey, ya see~ Odyssey, ya see~
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| Bane Martius Agni | Jan 10 2011, 12:43 PM Post #4 |
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Archon Agni, of Clan Martius
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A man walks into a bar. Says "Ouch." |
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| Yun | Jan 11 2011, 03:02 AM Post #5 |
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Malum Malum
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Zabbeth walks into a bar. Lemu ducks. |
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| simplechild | Jan 12 2011, 02:49 AM Post #6 |
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My only feel is murder
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Two Asians walk into a bar. Two weeks later they own it. |
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| Ian889 | Jan 13 2011, 12:17 AM Post #7 |
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Death comes to all of those who oppose me.
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Ian walks into a bar with a bag he walks out of that bar with a bag of heads. |
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| Lemubaby | Jan 13 2011, 05:55 PM Post #8 |
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(_(_( ・ω・)
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| Kyarorain | Jan 14 2011, 07:19 AM Post #9 |
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Epitome of Insanity
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An amnesiac comes into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here often?" |
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| The Ellimist Of Style | Jan 14 2011, 03:25 PM Post #10 |
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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart. |
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| The Ellimist Of Style | Jan 14 2011, 03:26 PM Post #11 |
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse tells a long story about how his friend was a racehorse and broke his leg during a race. The bartender realized "This is rediculous, horses can't talk!" and wakes up from the dream he's having. He wakes his wife up to tell her about the weird dream, and she seems uninterested. He tries to go back to sleep, but he can't, since he's crying about how broken his marriage has become. |
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| Captain Skullfuck | Jan 14 2011, 03:32 PM Post #12 |
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ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS
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Anti jokes are the best kind, I have plenty if that's the direction this topic is going in. |
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| Saturos | Jan 14 2011, 04:36 PM Post #13 |
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heart-under-blade
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Simple and Zabbeth win topic. Jerry also wins topic, since I'd never seen an anti-joke before, but that's rather compelling, actually. o.o |
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| simplechild | Jan 14 2011, 08:29 PM Post #14 |
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My only feel is murder
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Two seals walk into a club. |
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| Saturos | Jan 15 2011, 11:08 AM Post #15 |
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heart-under-blade
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Lost, Simple. xDDDD And yes, I know wrong topic but damn these are funny |
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| The Ellimist Of Style | Jan 15 2011, 11:57 AM Post #16 |
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You've totally heard an anti-joke before. "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side." The goal is to tell a set up and then subvert it by delivering something other than a traditional punchline. Like, just something true and obvious works, or something really dark and sad, etc. |
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| The Ellimist Of Style | Jan 15 2011, 12:01 PM Post #17 |
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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Genocide. Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear. |
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