Temple of Kraden News:
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| Why do I feel so inferior all the time? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 16 2010, 05:03 AM (906 Views) | |
| Super Slash | Sep 16 2010, 05:03 AM Post #1 |
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A rhetorical question. I don't really know why I'm posting this. I guess I just need to get it off my chest. Basically, I always feel inferior/insignificant compared to most people, including my family. I catch onto things rather slowly (and sometimes not at all), I seem to have limited knowledge about stuff compared to most people, and I often feel unappreciated for several reasons. They're not necessarily good reasons, and are probably just me being paranoid, and I tell myself that, but it doesn't change how I really feel. I often say things that I think are stupid for some reason or another, or avoid saying things altogether in fear of someone calling me out on it/making fun of me/whatever else. I try to keep my mouth shut unless I know for sure that I know what I'm talking about on certain things, and because I feel so dumb at times, it's one of the primary reasons I feel inferior. I also occasionally feel like I'm just an annoyance because of that, and in turn, wonder if anyone actually cares about me (I know that they really do, so I have no idea why I think that from time to time). I dunno, I just often feel really stupid, and I think my usually optimistic nature gives people the impression that I can't be taken seriously (since I'm a little *too* optimistic at times). It's really unlike me to post something like this, and I'm not saying I want people to pity me or anything like that, I just want to get this off my chest. I usually hesitate because I'm afraid of how people will react. I know I'm probably making a bigger deal out of this than I should, but it's hard not to sometimes. |
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| Delfeir | Sep 16 2010, 05:09 AM Post #2 |
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Adachi is not amused.
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I think you're a pretty good guy, and I'm Delfeir so that should mean something. As for the rest, I assure you that people in the opposite end of the spectrum tend to feel very similarly about things. I was considered extremely gifted as a kid, yet I failed high school. Twice. I've barely accomplished anything in five years and screw up every bit of education I go through just because I would freak out or just not do the work because I hated it. Only recently have I really found my path and any decent sort of aspirations, but it took years. The trick is to not compare yourself to other people, because there's always going to be someone better than you at everything. And the people at the very top? Still never think much of it and hate that somebody else is better at something *else* than they are. You can't be happy like that, so why do it? And who cares how you rank up? Just find something that you like and that makes you happy, then do it. Life will end up much better that way. |
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| Super Slash | Sep 16 2010, 05:15 AM Post #3 |
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Speaking of school, although it's not something I like to tell people very much, I don't really mind so much here: I'm really behind in it. In fact, I've only recently started speeding up the process, but I'm about to be 18 and am not close to finishing (I'm homeschooled). Several things that have happened in my life have slowed me down, but hopefully I will be done by the end of the year or early next year, so that's good at least. I really don't like to follow the crowd, and I'm not necessarily trying to. It's really hard for me to explain in words, but there are things that are common knowledge to practically everyone and probably should be for me as well, but aren't. That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. |
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| Delfeir | Sep 16 2010, 06:09 AM Post #4 |
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Adachi is not amused.
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That might also be the result of homeschooling, you know. Perhaps you weren't taught all the things you needed to be taught either by error or lapse of judgement, or simply because you're not in the environment of having to deal with a lot of people all the time. This is just a guess though, since homeschooling isn't done commonly here in Australia. Either way, I wouldn't take much stock in it. You'll pick up what you need to know as you go. Again, just focus on finding something you like doing, and do that. |
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| Ceremonial Dentist Fridge | Sep 16 2010, 09:15 AM Post #5 |
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Spirit
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Judging from this topic, Slash, you and I are completely identical. I was never homeschooled, but I can't find a single point in your post that does not also describe me down to a science. All I can really say is that I sympathize; it's a slow thing, but you will get better at picking up on common things, and you will get less conscious of coming off as an idiot whenever you have an opinion. It's tough, I know--and the worst part is that is shouldn't be tough, you know? Nothing ostensibly wrong, nothing to really prompt that feeling, but it's still there and you're incredibly paranoid and know you shouldn't be, but what if, right? My best advice to you is to get a job if you don't already have one. I'm a waitress, and in the beginning--hell, for the first year and a half--I [radio edit]ing hated it. So many things I did wrong over and over again, despite it being a fairly straight-forward and common sense occupation. But powering through that is the one tangible thing I can say helped me, and I imagine it would be a good place to start for someone else, too. tl;dr: brain twins /o/ Also there's me wondering if everyone experiences this feeling and that they're just kind of rolling their eyes at me right now, but whatevs. ]< |
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| Deleted User | Sep 16 2010, 10:01 AM Post #6 |
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If Terri and Slash are brain twins, then we're totally brain triplets \o/ I know exactly what ya mean, Slash. I've never considered myself particularly outstanding, or overly intelligent, or anything like that. I've always looked down on myself and had low self esteem for an unrecountable amount of reasons. I even feel inferior when I compare myself to how great some of the members here are sometimes =X Oh, and, yeah, I also hold back saying things because I'm afraid of how people will react too. Hell, I've probably started typing something in the quick reply box, only to say "screw it" an amount of times equal to my actual postcount. >_> |
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| Dracobolt | Sep 16 2010, 10:38 AM Post #7 |
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Incorrigible
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Brain quadruplets. I'll say this, though. I've gotten better about feeling inferior, somewhat, because I focus my mind and remember the one quote "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I try to keep in mind that the worst that can happen is that I say something stupid and give my friends something to genially tease me about. Short of spouting hate speech, it's hard to cause real damage with an offhand remark. Also, I think Terri's got a good point about getting a job or something similar. Having something you can take pride in helps a lot. So, yeah, I totally get you, man.
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| Phoenix7 | Sep 16 2010, 10:50 AM Post #8 |
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Odyssey, ya see~ Odyssey, ya see~
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Brain fithlets-wait, that's not how you say it. D: Dagnabbit. Like you Slash, I'm often holding back on things to say for fears of people thinking I'm dumb; my mouth can often run and it leads to people teasing or even taking advantage of what I say. I also consider that apart from my writing skills, there's nothing really special I have to make me stand out from other people unless you go into personality; that DOES count though. =) Heck, when I post a topic here at ToK, I'm fearful as to how people will react to it or if they'll just think 'this is dumb why did you waste our time posting this'. It's not the community though; much more a force of habit. I'm better then I was with it in general though; I echo Terri and Draco getting a job because it gives you pride and actually does a really good job of giving boosting your self-esteem, especially if you get friendly with your co-workers. Saying that I should probably get something more permenant then summer work. xP |
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| Deleted User | Sep 16 2010, 10:57 AM Post #9 |
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I like this. I think I'll try to keep this in mind...
Quintuplets. =P |
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| Phoenix7 | Sep 16 2010, 10:58 AM Post #10 |
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Odyssey, ya see~ Odyssey, ya see~
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^Thank you kindly, sir~ |
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| Fluff | Sep 16 2010, 11:23 AM Post #11 |
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The Temple Asshole
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I don't think you've taken the time to realize that everyone feels this way. No one ever likes their own poetry, or their own music, or their own writing. Once you realize that everyone else is just as insecure, you eventually become less impressed with what they think of you, and not in that immature "I'M A REBEL GOSH DURN IT" way. Just remember that everyone worries about their self-worth and it all becomes much less intimidating. |
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| Kris, Awooer of Worlds | Sep 16 2010, 12:04 PM Post #12 |
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Awoo!
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It's obviously because you, all of you, are inferior. Silly humans. |
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| Super Slash | Sep 16 2010, 03:56 PM Post #13 |
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Thanks for the replies. I'll keep all of this in mind, although I can't get a job at the moment. I don't feel down like I was last night often, but sometimes my low confidence in myself resurfaces for any number of reasons. I usually try to hide my sadness and make the best of every situation, but it doesn't always work out like that. |
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| Gilgamesh | Sep 16 2010, 04:37 PM Post #14 |
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solbowz Aurarius
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Of course you do, when people like me are around ![]() /topic title But no really, what Fluff said. You don't have some kind of problem that everyone else doesn't, so you just have to remember that. Usually that's the first step to getting some confidence too. Well, that, or looking down on everyone as stuff as inferior. But that's probably bad. |
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| Deleted User | Sep 16 2010, 04:38 PM Post #15 |
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Because you are. You all are. Bow to me, peons. <_< |
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| Sodate | Sep 16 2010, 04:55 PM Post #16 |
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DO WHAT YOU WANT!
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Dude, that's normal >_>.... everything I think I'm superior at there's always some mother[radio edit]er better than me and in that moment I go "[radio edit]" and I stop there you know why because it's that moment where you overthink it that you get down believe me I know... I am like that ......... I used to not go with my friends to places because I was like hmmm maybe they want to prank me maybe they want to ......... so on and so on Now I go out sometimes have a good time, when something makes fun of you, unless it's to serious then you hit the guy, you go with it, or get over the joke and make fun of them When I don't get something I just nod or try to change topic it works 8D |
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| Ian889 | Sep 16 2010, 10:20 PM Post #17 |
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Death comes to all of those who oppose me.
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*Stabs Steven through the throat* Honestly slash you are still very young and to be lost isn't abnormal the best advice is as always to calm down and relax. Confucius said "cool head main thing." The best you can do is to trudge through schooling do the best you can and go through and work your way to a more reasonable place of mind. Do not let your sadness make you feel separated but yet the global connection that all people have growing up. It is not shameful to be displaced, but yet do not let that displacement make you act shameful. |
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| Super Slash | Sep 16 2010, 10:22 PM Post #18 |
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Hmm... Well said, Ian. |
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| Sabre Chance | Sep 16 2010, 10:48 PM Post #19 |
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This. I haven't met anyone who wasn't insecure at some point in their lives. I think it's human nature, and it's alright to feel that way. I think the important thing is just to not let life get you down. Always get back up... Try to live life and be happy. =) |
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| Kiki | Sep 17 2010, 10:40 PM Post #20 |
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Kiki Martius Chantico
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What Fluff and Ian said. I know how you feel and I'd like to add: you've gotta just plow through it. Let all the moments when you feel inadequate or idiotic bounce off of you, just swallow the insecurity or shame or whatever and keep going. Even if you feel inferior, chances are no one is actually looking down on you anyway. |
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