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Time for another rant.; Delf rants about his life as per damn usual
Topic Started: Aug 19 2010, 08:38 AM (481 Views)
Delfeir
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Adachi is not amused.

Rant enclosed. I'm doing this mostly to say it and don't expect people to reply or provide answers or whatever. I'm just ranting for the sake of it. You can still post, that's cool, and if you've got an answer so much the better. But yeah, I don't expect anything.


So yeah, this is driving me insane. I honestly feel like I'm going to fall over and die really soon if this stupid sleeping problem carries on. Oh, Kris, you shouldn't worry about bad sleep, you've spent your whole life with bad sleep... well, I'm talking bad sleep by *my* standards you stupid people. Your bad sleep is a regular night for me, so my bad sleep would probably make you writhe in horror. Yeah, that's what I've dealt with for a month. A month! For no apparent reason I'm plagued by vivid dreams that constantly interrupt my sleep. I'm waking up in the middle of the night unable to sleep any more, or at the very least beating my alarm clock by an hour or two EVERY SINGLE MORNING.

This is lunacy. I don't think I've had a good night's sleep in the last month and it's wearing me down. It's plainly obvious to damn near everyone just how tired I am. I usually want to go back to bed within hours of waking up, and if I actually have to go out, god forbid. Five hour shift at work doesn't sound like much but I'm asleep on my keyboard for the second half of that. And how the hell am I supposed to keep surviving at college if I can barely stay awake through the lectures and can't even focus on the work? It seems like I've finally got my anxiety back under control, only to have my sleep spiral back into insanity and ruin any chance of a normal life AGAIN. Why the hell is this happening now and why does absolutely nothing seem to fix the problem? For crying out loud, what the hell is wrong with me?

It's getting obvious to everyone just how tired I am, too, if not for the whole falling asleep thing then the grumpy thing. I'm so agitated, so easily enraged and infuriated and depressed. It's probably a good thing I have absolutely nothing to do with my life four out of seven days a week, or I'd probably really fall over and die from exhaustion. But then, doing nothing is driving me insane faster than the goddamn sleeping problem is, so that's no good. I have nothing to do on so many days that I just laze around and play video games that feel dull, watch movies that I've already seen, write stories that I get stuck and infuriated on, or just waste hours reading stupid pointless shit on the internet.

And then I'm always complaining about how damn lonely I am, you'd think I'd use the spare time to go out and meet people. But nooo, I don't do that. And it's not exactly for lack of trying, it's because it doesn't seem like there ARE any goddamn people. All my friends, as few as they are, are too damn busy to ever hang out except on the times we already do. I know all their friends as well so I can't meet people through contacts, and every damn hobby or group or class or whatever I take seems to be full of fifty year old women. Sure, there are some interesting conversations to be had there, but this is not at all what I want and it seems sometimes like I'm the only goddamn writer/geek/booknut/whatever you want to call me in this whole [radio edit]ing region of Sydney that's my age. What gives? Where the hell are all the interesting people? And especially the interesting girls? Sure there are some people who I meet who are okay, but none of them ever seem to be female. Everyone else is boring, shallow, stupid, or annoying. Is everyone in Australia born stupid, or does the country make them that way? Or both? God.

Seriously, waking up in the morning, feeling like going back to bed within two hours but not having anything to do all damn day is bad enough. But then this happens three days in a row? Sometimes four or five? My god, how is anyone supposed to live like this without going completely stir crazy? I don't know but I really wish I could find out before I descend that far. It seems like these days I'll end up being insanely clingy or pushy to anyone who wants to talk to me, online or offline, just because I'm so desperate for intelligent human contact and friendship and romance and ugh. I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE. What the hell is wrong with me and what the hell is wrong with this stupid country?!

*rages endlessly*

...

Okay, rant over, go home.
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Momentime
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uh oh

Well, I bet writing all this took some effort. Maybe you're tired now? Try sleeping now and see if that leads anywhere.
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SeaMonkeyFarmer
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Wifey

That's awful, Delf =/ The best (but still pretty useless) advice I can give to you is that maybe you should do some proper exercise during the day, if you don't already. It can help give you a little boost during the day, and would hopefully help you sleep, but I dunno. *Trails off*
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Phoenix7
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Odyssey, ya see~ Odyssey, ya see~

SeaMonkeyFarmer
Aug 19 2010, 08:55 AM
That's awful, Delf =/ The best (but still pretty useless) advice I can give to you is that maybe you should do some proper exercise during the day, if you don't already. It can help give you a little boost during the day, and would hopefully help you sleep, but I dunno. *Trails off*
This. Also, have you considered trying out sleeping pills? I dunno if you want to rely on medication like that though; smack me if you don't, but it sounds like you need some sort of kick to perhaps assist you. I'm not sure that would help with the dream aspect, but at least you won't be sleeping rough.
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Moose
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Spirit
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
you're life is awful!
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Deleted User
Deleted User

Okay Delf, about what time do you go to sleep? What do you do just before going to bed? These would be useful to know to try and help you, since I have had pretty bad sleeping problems myself for quite a while. If I can give you any help, then I will.
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Gilgamesh
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solbowz Aurarius

Let's see...honestly you can't blame yourself for some of your problems as much until you can fix the sleeping thing back to your normal. I mean sure if you say you wanna go out and meet people but then don't do it it's your fault, but in this case, not if your body can't really handle it. Anyway.

What you eat tends to affect how you sleep. Also how late you eat it, obviously. Is your diet any different from usual? Also, try doing strenuous activity before bed too :U
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Delfeir
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Adachi is not amused.

I've been doing more physical activity than I have in years lately, what with ninjutsu and more exercise that I'm adding to my life. My diet is the same as it's always been, so nothing special about that. I haven't changed vitamin supplements, I'm not on any medication, and my sleeping schedule is usually 11-1 through to 7-10, always adjusted so I get 8-9 hours sleep. At least, that was how it was before this problem started, and I still can't find a reason as to why it started and/or why it hasn't stopped.

Also, Gilgamesh, there was that topic in the mens forum called Meeting People that I made, and sadly I didn't get a huge amount out of that. I've looked extensively into groups, clubs, or whatever but there really isn't anything within acceptable travel range (we're talking an hour of travelling as acceptable so not exactly down the street, still barely anything). Friends of friends are, again, non-options because there really aren't any that I don't already know. Class and writing group is filled with people not of my demographic, and they're nice to talk to but hardly the people I would go drinking with as an example. So yeah, it's not like I'm not going out and doing it, it's like there's nowhere really to go unless I start stalking people I walk past in the city or something.

*shrug* Whatever, I didn't come here for an answer, I just came here because if I [radio edit]ed to anybody I knew in real life they'd just give me grief as they usually do. I just wanted you guys to lend an ear, and you did, so I'm very appreciative of it. Now I go back to being content in my life... at least until I get grumpy again, but that might take a while with luck.
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Super Slash


Why haven't you considered seeing a doctor yet? Seriously, if you can't even sleep, you need to go see a doctor or something.

I also second the "use medications to sleep". It may not be the "right" way to go about it, but at least you'll sleep if you do that.
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Delfeir
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Adachi is not amused.

I've seen plenty of doctors before about my existing sleep disorder, not even this new one. They were largely useless until I went and saw specialists. I've been in and out of doctors for a very long time, and unless you go to the really high end expensive super specialists, your average GP is paid to diagnose pills that cure symptoms, not conditions.

And in my case, that's potentially dangerous. My existing sleep disorder basically means that I constantly wake up in the night without realising it - just enough to get out of deep, restful sleep - so I can take in a deep breath because I can't breathe properly when sleeping. Now, if I start taking medication to "fix" that and make me sleep? I might just suffocate, or suffer other unpleasant effects of oxygen deprivation. So no, it's not medically recommended that I take anything for it. I live with it until it gets better, plain and simple. The sleep disorder I got used to... it's just that now, on top of this condition, I'm waking up really early and being completely aware of at least one or two instances per night of where I wake up to breathe, because it's more than just breathing.

So yeah. *shrug* It's a bit of a cluster[radio edit], but long story short, I subsist on less sleep than the human average. But I equal every other average, not sick human being in most regards. Why? BECAUSE I'M JAKE GODDAMN DELFEIR AND I'M [radio edit]ING AWESOME.

*kicks a hole in the wall to exit the topic rather than taking the door*
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Black Kitty
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Resurrected

almost no sleep...

i'm a bit of an insomniac myself >>

~mao...
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Peytral
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peytral pls

Cap'n Delfeir
Aug 20 2010, 02:52 AM
So yeah. *shrug* It's a bit of a cluster[radio edit], but long story short, I subsist on less sleep than the human average. But I equal every other average, not sick human being in most regards. Why? BECAUSE I'M JAKE GODDAMN DELFEIR AND I'M [radio edit]ING AWESOME.

*kicks a hole in the wall to exit the topic rather than taking the door*
[radio edit] yes. This is the Delf I like to see. \o/
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Super Slash


Cap'n Delfeir
Aug 20 2010, 02:52 AM
So yeah. *shrug* It's a bit of a cluster[radio edit], but long story short, I subsist on less sleep than the human average. But I equal every other average, not sick human being in most regards. Why? BECAUSE I'M JAKE GODDAMN DELFEIR AND I'M [radio edit]ING AWESOME.

*kicks a hole in the wall to exit the topic rather than taking the door*
Win!
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Phoenix7
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Odyssey, ya see~ Odyssey, ya see~

Super Slash
Aug 20 2010, 03:22 AM
Cap'n Delfeir
Aug 20 2010, 02:52 AM
So yeah. *shrug* It's a bit of a cluster[radio edit], but long story short, I subsist on less sleep than the human average. But I equal every other average, not sick human being in most regards. Why? BECAUSE I'M JAKE GODDAMN DELFEIR AND I'M [radio edit]ING AWESOME.

*kicks a hole in the wall to exit the topic rather than taking the door*
Win!
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Saturos
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heart-under-blade

Start trolling some pubs then, Delf? Preferably any library pubs or places where people you're into might gather.

Also, that sleeping disorder sucks. >_> Majorly.
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