Temple of Kraden News:
| Greetings, heathen. Perhaps some fortuitous blessing of Kraden's grace hath led you to our humble Temple, or perhaps you are simply curious about this strange and wonderful cult. Should you be willing - and dare to hope - to achieve enlightenment, the door opens before you. Lo! Leave your old life behind! For once you step through, you become something more than just yourself. You become a Kradenette. Are you willing to make the rapturous plunge? Do you have what it takes? One of us! One of us! One of us! Already one of us? Make your presence known: |
| ATTN: EVERYONE; WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 3 2009, 06:07 PM (584 Views) | |
| LSunnyC | Jun 3 2009, 06:07 PM Post #1 |
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The Fallen Duchess
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**Got this in an e-mail from my aunt, the comments aren't mine** XP If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G..!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig!) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home, maybe at work.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I'm still thinking I'll be a pig in my next life... quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm....Taste or Talk????) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that...) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too...) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they might live a lot longer.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig?!?) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle. (and God love that pig!) |
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| The Sin Thesis | Jun 3 2009, 06:10 PM Post #2 |
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Hmmm. I shall look into gene splicing now, though this would mean an inability to have a quickie. |
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| Necare | Jun 3 2009, 06:10 PM Post #3 |
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Fallen Angel
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Hm. Interesting facts, and the comments were just plain lulzy. Very nice.
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| The Sin Thesis | Jun 3 2009, 06:15 PM Post #4 |
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Now, is this the male pig, the female pig, or both? |
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| Seoulbowz | Jun 3 2009, 06:26 PM Post #5 |
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Supergeil
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The comments were funnier than the actual e-mail. Although, I'm still split between the Lion and the Pig. |
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| The Grim Lich | Jun 3 2009, 06:36 PM Post #6 |
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Legitimate Businessman
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Lion, pig, tough choice. |
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| Adnarel | Jun 3 2009, 08:46 PM Post #7 |
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I'd rather be outside.
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I lol'd. |
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| The Phantom Squee | Jun 3 2009, 10:36 PM Post #8 |
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Sound the horn and call the cry: "How many of them can we make die?"
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I know, I'm doomed to die young. D: |
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| LSunnyC | Jun 4 2009, 12:24 AM Post #9 |
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The Fallen Duchess
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Pion? Lig? |
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| simplechild | Jun 4 2009, 12:49 AM Post #10 |
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My only feel is murder
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Iglay? Ionpay? |
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| ReidAlvein | Jun 4 2009, 11:35 AM Post #11 |
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If left blank, your default title currently will be: Phasmatis of Elementum
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Great, I am doomed to live less now... I want the Lion becuase... obvious reasons. |
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| Momentime | Jun 4 2009, 02:52 PM Post #12 |
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uh oh
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The answer to lion or pig lies in the answer to this question: Which is it easier to obtain an oragasm as? I'm betting my money on lion. Though, I'd much rather be a dolphin for lulz. |
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| Lachesis | Jun 4 2009, 03:36 PM Post #13 |
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What are birds?
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I am highly skeptical of the assertion that copulation requires the decapitation of the male mantis. |
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| Gilgamesh | Jun 4 2009, 03:40 PM Post #14 |
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solbowz Aurarius
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It doesn't. But, the male must get the female for surprise buttsex to keep his head. If she catches him before he starts, she eats his head as they do it. So, that's rape, cannabalism, AND vore. Bugs are fun. |
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| Peakay | Jun 4 2009, 03:51 PM Post #15 |
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me IRL
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That's not fair, Left handed people should be able to live as long as the right handed people. >__> |
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| SeaMonkeyFarmer | Jun 4 2009, 03:52 PM Post #16 |
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Wifey
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I wish I was a praying mantis... |
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| The Phantom Squee | Jun 4 2009, 06:28 PM Post #17 |
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Sound the horn and call the cry: "How many of them can we make die?"
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It's okay, our shortened lifespan increases our average output of awesome per day in order to compensate for those other weirdos. |
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