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How Abomasnow Stole Christmas; A Pokemonization by Erik XP
Topic Started: Dec 24 2008, 10:02 PM (412 Views)
Erik the Appreciator
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Master of Trivia, Grand Patron of 5 Gens

As my "Christmas present" to everyone here, I'll post a little something I made in my huge amount of free time earlier. Basically it's "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", Pokemon edition. ^_^ (I'd be surprised if no one on Fanfiction.net's Pokemon section did one of these before, but I don't care) Enjoy:

How Abomasnow Stole Christmas
Every Pichu in Chu-Ville liked Christmas a lot,
but Abomasnow, living north of town, did not.
Abomasnow hated the whole Christmas season
Now please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
Maybe his Type made his trainers too whiny;
It could be perhaps that he wasn't a Shiny.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But whatever the reason (provide me some clues >_>)
He stood there on Christmas Eve hating the 'Chus,
Staring down from his cave, with a sour, dry frown
at the warm-lighted windows below in the town,
For he knew every 'Chu down in Chu-Ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging things like a wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas. It is practically here!"
Then he used Growl while his wood fingers were drumming,
"I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!
For tomorrow I know... All the 'Chu girls and boys
Would wake bright and early, then they'd rush for their toys!
And then, oh the noise! Oh the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
I wish I had Soundproof! Oh the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!"

"Then the 'Chus, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would capture a Miltank or some other beast;
Eating that is a thought I can't stand in the least!"
Before you ask, yes, the Pichu are cannibals;
This author's mind is similar to Hannibal's.

"And then they'd do something I hate most of all!
Every 'Chu down in Chu-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, along with the Chingling.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the 'Chus would start Singing!
You'd think they'd purchase a frickin' Altaria
'Cause there's nothing worse than a Pichu aria.
They'd Sing! And they'd Sing! And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!"
And the more the 'Snow thought of the 'Chu-Christmas-Sing
The more the 'Snow thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
Why for over ten years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming! ...But how?"

Then he got an idea. An awful idea!
The 'Snow's Nasty Plot was an AWFUL idea!
"I know just what to do!" The 'Snow laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santa Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Yeti Trick!
With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like St. Nick!"

"All I need is a Stantler..." The 'Snow looked around.
But since Stantler are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the Yeti? Pah! The 'Snow simply said,
"If I can't catch a Stantler, I'll hack one instead!"
So using his Wood Hammer he chopped down a tree,
and hacked an antler-shaped thing from the bark with glee.
Then he called his pet Glaceon and took some black thread
And he tied up the horn to the top of its head.
Then he loaded some bags and a large empty net
On a ramshackle sleigh, and he hitched up his pet.
Then the 'Snow said, "Giddyap!" And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the 'Chus lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the 'Chus were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first house in the square.
"This is stop number one," the Abomasnow hissed
as he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. Which was rather hard,
But Santa could do it, so 'Snow was no retard.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little 'Chu stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, just like a Seviper,
And pillaged the room with the skill of a Sniper.
A Bicycle! Potions! Choice Bands! A Poke Doll!
Luxury Balls and Rare Candies! And a Light Ball!
He stuffed them in bags. Then Abomasnow nimbly
Stuffed each of the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he raided the 'Chu's ice box like a Skuntank!
He took everything including the roast Miltank!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a Flash.
That yeti even took their last can of 'Chu-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" the yeti grinned, "I will stuff up the tree!"

As Abomasnow shoved the tree up from below,
He heard a small sound like the coo of a Taillow.
He turned around fast, and he saw a Pichu!
Little Cindy Pichu, who was no more than two.
She stared at the yeti and said, "Santy Claus, why?
Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?"
In spite of his appearance, 'Snow was so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"I'll tell you why, kid," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed.
And when Cindy Pichu went to bed with her cup,
He went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
Then the last thing he took was the log for their fire.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire,
hardly enough for an Electivire.
Thus he did the same thing to each other 'Chu's house
(since no one likes a certain specie of mouse).

It was quarter past dawn... All the 'Chus, still a-bed,
All the 'Chus, still a-snooze when he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Ten thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Moon,
He rode to the tiptop to give it to Houndoom!

"Pooh-pooh to the 'Chus!" he was cheerfully humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
They're just waking up... I know just what they'll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
The all the 'Chus down in Chu-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!
That's a noise," grinned the 'Snow, "That I simply must hear!"
So Abomasnow put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...

But to his great shock, this sound wasn't sad!
For Arceus' sake, this sound sounded glad!
Every 'Chu down in Chu-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And Abomasnow, with his feet cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled for hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the 'Snow thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more..."

And what happened then...? Well...in Chu-ville they say
That the yeti's small heart grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And rode into Chu-Ville and brought back their toys,
He brought back the glitter to the 'Chu girls and boys!
He brought back everything! All the food for the feast!
And Abomasnow himself carved the roast beast!
As everyone sat to enjoy the cooked Miltank,
They had only the spirit of Christmas to thank.
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simplechild
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My only feel is murder
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You sir, deserve praise of the highest honor that the internet can muster.
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